Biphobic #HAHAT

Howdy! Today is the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia! It’s hard to imagine that I signed up for this hop ages ago, and it’s finally here! If you didn’t know, today is actually the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia! Go figure.

You can check out their website here: http://dayagainsthomophobia.org/

HAHAT 2014

I can’t wait to share with you today. This is something special on my heart. Not only do I write in the LGBT genre and have characters who are LGBT, but I also claim to be part of that rainbow community. And what a fantastical community it is. The LGBT et al community is one of the most rewarding and supportive communities I’ve ever been in. And I’m proud to be a member, for the most part.

I’m part of this community because I’m bisexual, which is what I want to talk about today. I know many bisexuals and the high majority of them have experienced something similar to what I’m going to talk about. Phobia of the “one who can’t decide.”

I’ve been in and out of the family since I was fourteen. I didn’t come out to immediate family until I was eighteen but that didn’t matter. They were supportive and there was no pushback from them at all. What did matter was the GLT friends I had…that’s where I experienced the most pushback.

Perhaps it’s just because people don’t understand bisexuality. Perhaps people don’t understand that there is more than just the L and the G in that fancy smacy little acronym. But experiencing a phobia from the very group that we’re supposed to be a part of is not the most ideal. It’s like being rejected at every single turn. There is no safe place to just be ourselves. There is no acceptance.

When I was in college, I was continuously told that I just needed to choose whether I was going to be lesbian or straight. It pissed me off. Downright angered me to the point where I refused to hang out with gay/lesbian friends and I refused to participate in any LGBT “friendly” group. How often have I heard that it’s not a choice from them? Yet they never afforded me the same opportunity! It seemed so contradictory to what they were saying, as though they had the same bias against bisexuals as certain straight people had against them.

When I entered my Master’s program, I was told that I wasn’t bisexual. Like really? Who’s going to tell me my sexuality? But they did. Over and over again I was told that I was pansexual or omnisexual because I didn’t discriminate against those outside of the male/female spectrum. It frustrated me to no end. No end because clearly being bisexual was still considered a “bad” thing, something which no one understood and something which people feared.

We break the binary. We break the nice, neat little lines that have been created for years. It isn’t a matter of one of the other, it’s a matter of both or all. It’s a matter of having something which no one else can have. There isn’t black or white, male or female. There’s red, brown, yellow, gold, silver, pink, camo all combined into one piece of a world that is so wonderfully bright.

So why is it that we as bisexuals feel phobic tendencies from inside the group and from outside? Because we simply don’t follow the “natural order” of things. We’re not binary, and we mess up the binary lines that we’ve been taught for centuries.

So what? So break out of that box a little bit and see that phobias and discriminations that are happening in your own back yard. See the stereotypes we create for people all over the spectrum and try to put a stop to them. Change your mind on something. Change the way you talk about bisexuals. Change the way phobias are continued. Just change.

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

If you’d like to enter to win some awesome prizes, click the link above. There are 4 books in the print book package from three different authors. All you have to do is like the FB pages. I will contact the winner once the winner has been chosen (it’s a random thing, I don’t handpick winners =P) The giveaway ends on May 27th, so the winner will be contacted within 1 week after.

Want to learn more about the Blog Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia? Check out their website here: http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com.

 

And please check out all the other wonderful posts in this blog hop!

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. K-lee Klein
    May 17, 2014 @ 11:59:15

    Wonderful post, Adrian. Thank you for taking part in the HAHAT. Hugs. K-lee.

    Reply

  2. Trackback: Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia | ScuttlebuttReviews
  3. Trackback: BDSM in a Lesbian World #authorcorner with Caitlin Ricci and Cari Z | Adrian J Smith
  4. lenagrey
    May 19, 2014 @ 12:33:38

    Great post, Adrian. There’s strength in numbers. lena.grey.iam@gmail.com

    Reply

  5. Charley Descoteaux
    May 19, 2014 @ 14:34:20

    Thanks for sharing this! Except for the college & family acceptance, this could be my story. :)

    Reply

  6. Caddy Rowland
    May 19, 2014 @ 16:18:22

    Great post, Adrian. How frustrating to be discriminated against now matter where you turn! I’m glad you’ve found some great, supportive friends by now.

    Reply

  7. Andrew Ashling
    May 20, 2014 @ 06:40:45

    Thanks, Adrian. Maybe it will take some time, but one day we will be a great, inclusive family. We’re still learning…

    Reply

  8. rojoroaors
    May 20, 2014 @ 15:39:08

    Reblogged this on redtigerburninglust.

    Reply

  9. rojoroaors
    May 20, 2014 @ 15:41:50

    OH while gay I understand that the bi is considered sometimes as part of neither the straight or the gay community. I live for the day when we all realize that we are all human and that is the only thing that matters. thank for being on this hop. rojoroaors@yahoo.com

    Reply

  10. Anastasia Vitsky
    May 21, 2014 @ 16:55:05

    Hm, did my earlier comment get eaten? I was checking to see if you’d responded. I can’t even remember what I said now, but happy HAHAT. :)

    Reply

  11. Barbara
    May 26, 2014 @ 10:10:30

    Thank you for sharing your story! People fear and reject what they don’t understand, so it’s awesome we can have this conversation across many different blogs and genres around the world.

    (BarbaraWinkes at hotmail dot com)

    Reply

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