Open when you’re having a bad day… #openwhen #loveletter

I hope you’re still at the point where venting will help. Vent away, babe. I’m here to listen to you complain about whatever. If you’re not at that point anymore, if you’re being just talking it out, then I’ll snuggle with you, I’ll cuddle with you, I’ll buy you ice cream and watch you play mindless video games that involve a ton of violence.

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I just want to make you feel better. I want to make you feel like you’re worth it. I want to make you feel as though someone is always there for you, that you’re emotions are exactly what they are, emotions and you’re entitled to them. You’re allowed to be upset with whatever, you’re allowed to have a bad day here and there, you’ll allowed to feel crappy sometimes. It’s a natural part of life and living.

 

But I don’t want you to stay there. I want you to get better and to feel better. I want you to move on and toward something else, something that’s better. I want you to feel good about yourself and who you are as a person, the person I love and adore so much.
So if you’re having a bad day, remember tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow is a brilliant day. When the sun rises in the east, the slate has been wiped clean, and your new day can begin.

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Open when you’re nervous… #openwhen #loveletters

IMG_6680I know you get nervous, babe. You always get anxious, especially about certain things like school. I want you to take a few deep, calming breaths. Close your eyes and focus only on you and God for a moment. I want you to breathe in God’s presence and let it calm you, relax you, ease your mind and your troubles.

 

Pray. Send up a little prayer to God, say it out loud or silently. Be in an open presence with God and let God take all your worries away. Let God swoop down and save the day and calm you down in ways only God can.

 

When you’re all done with that, go back to whatever you were doing. I imagine and I know that you’ll feel so much better just for taking that little bit of time to be in communion with our Creator. I know your nerves will be eased and your heart will ease; I know you’ll be able to focus more on what you need to focus on. So take the extra time to do it.
I love you, forever and ever.

Open when you need a laugh… #openwhen #loveletter

IMG_6680I think it’s ironic that on this day, a day I should need a laugh the most, this is the topic I chose months ago. We’re already so in tune! I don’t even know where to begin. I could tell you a few jokes, but they would probably be lame and not as funny as I think they are. Besides, it’s a lot funnier if I get to tell them in person.

 

If you really want to smirk and giggle at something, remember that time when we were in Montana, and my mom was there, and she put cortisone cream on her toothbrush instead of toothpaste and then proceeded to try and brush her teeth for a few quick seconds? Oh yeah, that was funny.

 

I know that’s make fun of other people and it’s a bit tasteless, but damn it was funny. I think I had tears in my eyes for like an hour afterward. When you need a laugh, love, go turn on some movie you’ll know I’ll hate because of the type of humor and watch it. In fact, do a marathon of those types of movies. You can use this note as a one-day free pass to watch them in my presence so long as you don’t expect me to pay attention to them as well!

Open when you have doubts about us… #openwhen #loveletters

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It’s not simple to worry or work through this one. It’s complicated and scary. Very scary for me and probably for you. When you have doubts about us, everything compounds and it’s hard to get out of that thinking. All I can do is to ask you to remember why you thought we could work.

 

Focus on the good, the things we do well together, the complements we make to each other. There are many that I can think of off the top of my head. We’re extremely supportive of each other. We know what it’s like to live in hardship, and we know we don’t want that for our future.

 

We know that we each love each other, that this marriage thing was a big deal for both of us. We had given up on ever finding the one, of ever saying wedding vows, of ever being in a relationship long term. Both of us had given up on that dream. Yet, here we are, barely a year from meeting, married and living a life exactly how we want to live it.
We share dreams. We share ideas for the future. We share goals. We share a love so great it’s hard to knock down. Remember that I love you with my whole heart, love you like have I have never loved anyone else. And you may have doubts, but I hope and pray that your doubts will vanish in the face of what we can build together.

Open when you have doubts about God… #openwhen #loveletters

IMG_6680This one isn’t easy. I’ve watching you in faith since we’ve known each other, and I’ve seen you grow so much. Partly it might be because of my job, but I don’t ever want my work to force you to have doubts. You’ll readily see the good and the bad about faith if you stand by me.

 

But I’ve watched you. I’ve seen you go from being a person of faith in belief only to a person of action. I watched you be baptized. A little over a year ago from my writing it. And it was beautiful to watch. You changed so much when you emerged from those waters. You had a smile on your face the entire night that you couldn’t get rid of. You had this essence about you that was bursting at the seams with light.

 

Then on top of that, you want to be involved. And I can’t think it’s just me and my work. You want to be doing something, to be helping out at church in some way. It doesn’t seem to be because you think it’s your responsibility, but you genuinely want to be doing God’s work.

 

You are doing it. You’re doing it every day when you support me, when you support your coworkers. When you listen to everyone complain, with every face you see come into your job and they know you are a person of faith. You are doing exactly what God asks of each and one of God’s believers.
Your faith has grown exponentially. That means doubts will creep in, but try not to fear them or worry them too much. Doubts are a part of faith, and I know yours is strong.

Open when you feel out of place… #openwhen #loveletters

IMG_6680Babe, don’t worry. I got this one. I know EXACTLY where you place is. It’s right here. See? Right here! Right next to me. Side by side, we have found our place together.

Neither one of us is in front of the other. We’re not the leader or the follower. In some things yes, but together, together we walk the journey in this life. And I saved you a spot. I wanted to save it for you because you are the perfect piece to my puzzle.

Your place is with me, just as much as my place is with you. Life doesn’t seem quite right when you’re not around and not in it.

Open when you feel like giving up on something… #openwhen

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It’s okay to give up. It’s okay to say you can’t do something anymore. It’s okay when the dream you had isn’t exactly the reality you found. It’s hard, and it’s not easy. But I will support you in any and all changes you feel you need to make to your life.

 

If you feel like giving up and it’s something you don’t want to give up on, then power through it. Find that stamina and that stubbornness I know you have deep down inside you and grasp onto it. Hold it. Keep it. Don’t let it go. That is what’s going to get you through.


But don’t be afraid. I’m right here with you. Through every step, every change, every moment of hesitation. I’m right here for you. To talk it out, to listen, to be the support you need. Just let me know.

Open when you need some extra loving… #openwhen

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I want to snuggle with you. Wrap my arms around your middle and press my head to your chest. I want to entwine our legs together and hold on tightly, not letting go for hours. You are my one and only. I can’t tell you that enough.

 

You’re the only one I want and the only one I have ever wanted. All those years without you, all those relationships, I was just searching for something I didn’t know I needed. And I need you. You’re it for me. No matter what, I love you.

 

You’re the love of my life. Remember that. I found you and you found me, and together we’ll be. Through good times and bads. You are the love I never thought I needed to seek, the love I never thought I would have. You’re the one who changed everything.

 

When you love someone, it changes everything. And you did that. So let me do that for you.
I love you, babe. I love you from east to west, from north to south, from the ends of the earth to the center. I love you no matter what.

Open when the distance is too much… #openwhen

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I really wanted to save up enough to put in here so you could buy a ticket to wherever I was. But you know me…not my style. Physical distance is not something you and I deal with easily. We can handle it for a few days, maybe close to a week, but anything longer and it’s really hard for us to be apart.

I’m not sure why other than we are such an integral part of each other that we need the other to function. I love you, more than you will ever know. We’ve done six weeks apart from each other and that was the longest and hardest time we’ve had yet. Remember?

It wasn’t easy, but we got through it. And it was fantastic to see you walking up to my deck and to know you weren’t leaving again. Six weeks of hardship so we could be together for the rest of our lives. Physical distance is hard to work with, it’s hard to keep in touch when we can’t touch. It’s hard to remember what it’s like to kiss you after so many days of going without.

But we will be together again. It’s inevitable. You and I will always and forever be together.

Open when you’re thinking about us… #openwhen

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Hey babe,

You remember when we first met? I was sitting against the cement wall at Fireside Pies, waiting for you because you were late. Who knew that would be something I should remember about you for the future? Anyway, do you remember it? When I was on the phone talking to Katherine and you were walking up to me in sandals and a button down? Who would have thought that we would be where we are today?

I mean, I never expected to fall so deeply in love with you. I never thought I was capable of such a deep emotion, but you pulled it right out of me. You dragged it out from somewhere, I’ve no idea where, but you found it. I never thought I would fall in love with you. I never thought I would be making a life with you in the middle of nowhere either.

I just never thought of the future quite like the way I do now until I met you. And our future is going to be fantastic, babe. I can’t wait to experience it with you.

Open when your hurting…

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Let me know what you need. If it’s a hug, a snuggle, a kiss or just a hot cup of tea, or you know, that beer we keep stashed in the basement. Let me know. If you’re hurting, then I want to be there. I want you to feel better.

My heart goes out to you. It aches right along side your heart. If you’re hurting because of something someone else did, let me know. Vent to me, cry to me, yell to me, tell me everything you are feeling. If you’re hurting because of something I did, I’m so very sorry.

The thing about love is that it makes us vulnerable to be hurt by the ones we love. I assure you, whatever I did, I did not mean to hurt you. It’s a consequence of something I did. Once you take time to do whatever you need to do, tell me. Tell me what I did and how it made you feel. Tell me so I won’t do it again.

If you’re hurting, love, I don’t want you to be. I want you to feel loved and filled with joy. I want you to move from hurt to comfort. So tell me how to help you do that. Tell what I need to do so you can find happiness and joy for yourself.

Open when you miss my kisses…

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I wish this wasn’t in electronic form because I’d go get some bright red lipstick and make a kiss on the paper for you. If you miss my kisses, come get one. You know I’m never shy about these things.

A kiss shows so much of the love we share, it’s something sweet and so filled with emotion. You and I have never skimped or really even kissed when there hasn’t been a connection between the both of us.

When you miss my kisses, you might be missing me. And I can’t have that. I’m always here for you, no matter what you need. I always will be here for you, not matter what. Always and forever. So say we all.

We took those vows, and for sure they meant something. I was the one who had to ask you to kiss me that day. I was the one who had to beckon you over to me and get you to press your lips to mine. It was a kiss that sealed a deal we had made close to a year before. We are in love and always will be. When you miss my kisses, remember the first one we shared together, married and united in love.

Remember the first one we ever shared. In the parking garage in Fort Worth–remember it and savor it. Because it was a kiss that showed exactly what was to become of us.

Progress is progress, and now to play catch up

I’m making this quick and simple today.

1. Write 1667 words a day.

I’ve been keeping up with this for the most part. I don’t have exact counts because it’s a co-written piece and all in one document. But…I’ve been writing about 2500 words a day on it, and my co-writer has been writing 1500-3000 a day. So we’re nearing the halfway point after a week.

I’ve also been trying to keep up on my own novel, but that’s a lot slower. I should get a ton on it today since I’ll be stuck at work with absolutely no internet until about 2pm. I’ll hopefully have an update on Sunday.

2. keep up with all blog posts ROW80, WIPpet, Open When and add in 1 extra post a week

I have so not been doing this. This is my week to try and get back on track with it.

3. Edit at least one chapter a week on something.

I did 3 chapters for a beta read on Monday. I’ll be doing a lot more editing today since I’ll be stuck at work with no internet (do you see yet how much I hate work with no internet)?

4. crochet one round of border a week

Haven’t done this at all. Really need to since it’s a Christmas present.

ONTO WIPPET!

I do apologize for not visiting anyone this past week. It was hectic and my mind wasn’t in it at all. I’ll definitely not do that this week.

This follows last weeks. Grace is talking with her wonderful girlfriend Amya. You get 15 sentences for today because 12 + 3 = 15.

“How’s your day going?” Grace asked.

“Busy. Lots of people are having issues, but that’s normal around the holiday. Yours?”

Amya walked down the hallway to their left, and Grace followed, knowing they were most likely going to the back offices to chat in private. Rubbing her lips together, Grace took each step carefully.

“Umm…it’s been an interesting day. I’ll just leave it at that until tonight.”

“Oh?” Amya said, turning her eyes to Grace’s.

“Yeah. That’s a good way to put it.”

“Interesting.”

“Exactly,” Grace said with a smirk and shut the office door behind Amya.

If you want to join in WIPpet Wednesday, feel free! It’s open to all. Post an excerpt of your WIP (Work in Progress) on your blog. The ONLY rule is that it in some way correlates to the date. Once you post, link it up with the rest, and check out other people’s work unlike what I did last week. And have fun!

Also, for those interested, I have a release coming up December 15th of a story I co-wrote. I’m really excited about it. Anyway–here’s the link for anyone who wants to participate in the release day blitz. And if you want to read & review, let me know via email or Facebook and I’ll get you the ARC. It’s a short story, so not long.

Open when you’re sick… #openwhen #loveletter

IMG_6680Let me know, baby. Let me know and I’ll take care of you. I’ll make you elbows and special soup, and chicken and dumplings (because that’s your thing not mine). I’ll get you medicine and tuck you in. We’ll watch whatever you want to watch on television.

I want you to feel better. You can sleep in the bed too, let me sleep on the couch because I know you don’t want to get me sick too. I’ll tuck you in and make sure you get all better. You need to feel better, baby, because frankly, you’re no fun when you’re sick. But who is really?
By the way, next time you’re not sick, you need to write down the chicken and dumpling recipe so I actually know how to make it.

Open when you’re angry but not with me… #openwhen #loveletter

IMG_6680It’s okay to vent, and I want you to vent, but do remember there’s a time when anger doesn’t do anything for you, when you just have to let it go and not look at it anymore. There comes a time when anger is no longer useful.

 

You might not be at that time right this very moment, so vent some more. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you when it gets excessive. I want you to be comfortable with being angry. I know you struggle with anger sometimes, but I’ll be there to let you know when it’s too much. And let’s face it, I’m not afraid of being blunt or confronting you about it.

 

Be angry. You usually have a right to it. Be anger and let it breath into your system, and then let it breath out. You can’t be anger forever. It’s just not who you are. So you need to take a step back and look at what’s happening and see if it’s really something that is worth your time and effort over. If it’s not, then let it go.
Also–if you’re still angry with whomever after reading this note, feel free to tear it to shreds and throw it on the ground or burn it in the grill. I have copies; I saved it! So I can always give it to you again.

Open when you’re sad… #openwhen #loveletters

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I’m so sorry, love. I’m sorry this feeling is taking over you. I don’t know what I can do to help other than cuddle you and hold you close. It’s okay to cry. I really do mean that. It doesn’t make you any less of a person to shed the tears. It’s okay to want to be in solitude as well, just let me know.

Whatever you need, I’ll be right there to give it to you. We’re there for each other. That’s why we entered into this relationship and this marriage.

So when you’re sad, love, come to me. Come and let me wipe away your tears, kiss away your fears, and wrap you in warmth and comfort. We’re there for each other, and I want to be there for you as often as I can.

I’ll listen to whatever is on your heart, and I’ll let you talk it out. If you want to remain in silence until you’re ready to explain, I’ll wait. It’s not a matter of fixing the problem; it’s a matter of letting me be present with you. Take a tissue and wave it in the air like a truce. All else will disappear and nothing will be left by you and me and the moment of being present with each other in whatever we are feeling.
Let me be with you when you’re sad, love. It’s the only thing I ask of you.

Open when you’re happy… #Openwhen #loveletters

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I love you. I love seeing you smile and those dimples you get in your cheeks. So if you’re really happy and smiling like a maniac, I want you to go find me. Put this letter down, go find me and tell me all about it. Let’s celebrate whatever it is that’s making you happy together.

 

Let’s get some beer and drink them down, guzzling at least two each. Let’s turn off the television, laugh and talk and get to know each other all over again. Let’s go out to a nice meal dedicated solely to each other and celebrating whatever it is making you oh so happy.

 

I want to take the time to spend celebrating. It’s important. It’s crucial to remember and uplift the times are good so the bad times don’t seem so terrible. I love you, so much more than you can probably ever imagine, and I want to make this work. I want to make celebrations the majority of what we remember when we look back on our marriage. I want the happy times to severely outweigh the sad and desolate. I want us not to remember fighting but to remember celebrate.

 

So find me wherever I am, and let me in on the good news. Share with me what you’re feeling and help me to feel it too. Let’s bask in the happiness and let it last as long as it can. These are the moments I want to remember, the ones I want to carry with me through the rest of my life.
These are the moments that make our relationship and that make our love.

Open when you’re lonely… #loveletters #openwhen #love

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I know you get lonely, far more easily than I do. I’m used to being alone and it takes quite a bit of time for my aloneness to turn to loneliness. But for you…you like to have people around. You like to have friends over and to chat and hang out with them far more often than I do.

 

I know loneliness is going to strike somewhere in this year, probably soon. We just moved to the center of the country, and the nature of my job isolates us from the rest of the town. I apologize. I don’t think I prepared you for that at all. I don’t think I was prepared for it, as loneliness has struck me more often than I thought it would.

 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I dragged you out here where we really do have to start over again. I’m sorry it means you’ll have to go through these bouts of loneliness that I can only fix so many times. But please do, please let me know when you’re lonely. Let me know so we can try to do something about it. Let me know so we, you and I, can spend some time together to help stave off the effects of loneliness.
I love you, and that’s not something that can fix everything. It’s a hard truth to come by, but it makes me want to try and bring you as much happiness as I can. I love you, so remember that, and tell me when loneliness has you in its claws and we’ll sit down and watch a movie, or go out to dinner together, or go to town and “get wild” with no one around to see us.

Open when you miss me… #loveletters #openwhen

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It’s very apt that I’m writing this on this particular day. We’ve been married exactly one month today and you are gone for a whole week. I miss you, and I know you miss me. We’ve never had this problem as much now as we did before. Missing you now isn’t like missing you before.

 

You are my whole life, and I don’t want you to ever think otherwise. You need to continue to be the center of my life. So when you miss me, call me. When you miss me, text me. When you miss me, Facetime me. Let me know just how much you miss me because I guarantee I miss you more.

 

When you miss me, remember everything fun about when we’re together. Remember how we cuddle and snuggle on the couch in each other’s arms. Remember how I tried to make you get a job so I could have alone time? That’s nothing compared to this. Being gone for days isn’t like being gone for hours.

 

I miss you, just as much as I’m sure you miss me. We’re too longing hearts, waiting for the other to come back. I never thought we would be as tied together as we are. I’m such an independent person that I thought I could completely go through life without someone else by my side. I truly believed that until I married you. Now…now I’m lost without you. I’m lost when you’re gone. My missing you isn’t simply an ache in my heart, it’s a confusion in my brain. I don’t know where to go when you’re not here.
So think on that, love. Think on that and come back to me soon.

Open when you miss me… #openwhen #loveletters

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I don’t know if the distance is physical or mental both obviously there is a distance. I’ve gone from you and I don’t know why, and I don’t know how long it’s been. Remember that I do love you, so dearly. I never thought I would get married, truly believed it, until I met you. And as soon as we started dating, I knew where we would end up and I knew it wouldn’t be an easy road.

 

If you miss me because I’m gone mentally, it’s going to take some time for me to find my way back. I haven’t lived an easy life, and I grew up with depression as my best friend. It’s hard to let it go, but I do try to only visit a few times a year. Remind me of that, remind me that I’ve been down this road before, and remind me that I’m not alone. You missing me in this case, is probably the best thing that could happen because you missing me is what will help me.

 

If I’m physically gone, that’s tougher. If I’m far away, it’s harder to come see me. If it’s a distance that will end soon, then call me. If it’s a distance that will take a lot of time (like right before we married), then pack your bags and come for a visit. I have no doubt that I’d be missing you just as much.

 

When you miss me, remember all the good times we had–those times when we couldn’t stop laughing. Remember when we forgot it was our anniversary, went on a date and remembered halfway through it what day it was? Remember when I came home to hundreds of daisies? Remember when we went to Hot Springs and tried to fish in a lake while it was freezing rain out? Remember walking around the gardens in Hot Springs? Remember the concert in Little Rock? Remember going on our first brewery hop together?

 

Remember our coffee date the morning of our wedding?
Let those fill you up, let them bring me closer to you until I can once again be with you in mind and in spirit, until I can step into your open arms and wrap my hands around you in a hug. Let them tide you over until you no longer have to miss me.

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